Q: So my college roommate is ridiculous. on move-in, his dad asked me if I could "take care of him, because he is a very shy child" ... his exact words. I on the other hand i am extremely independent (only child) and just like to do my own things with my own friends. Anyways so hes constantly watching what i am doing, wont get up in the morning till after i wake up (creepy) never LEAVES the room EVER. except for class. it is just SO awkward. i have really tried to have an open mind, but this kid is just making me crazy!!!!!!! HELP?!
A: Your dorm is your home-away-from-home. A home should be a sanctuary. Home is a place where you should be able to relax and be yourself. It is best to be civil to your room mate as far as possible. You are not obligated to be his friend or help him. He needs to grow up. However, would it be too much trouble to at least be kind? You might offer words of encouragement and praise to give him confidence. He sounds like he has social anxiety. You room mate is likely a "product of his environment." He probably was smothered by his folks and overprotected. Try to be compassionate, but be firm when he tries to get you to do something you don't want to do. Just say something like: No, I need some time to myself or I have plans or recommend that he check out the gym, etc... It sounds like your room mate never developed any independence or even life skills. He may be watching you bc he admires your independence and your ease with life. Try to see this as an opportunity to guide your room mate toward gaining some of his own independence. Try to take it as a compliment rather than be creeped out by it. Also, to give him hope and confidence in himself, you might offer some light conversation now and then. Girls are likely something you both appreciate. Talk about some of the loveliest young ladies on campus. Be sure to mention intelligence, talents and great style rather than just ape-man convo about t&a. Music could be another? Maybe you are studying some of the same subjects? Ask him about where he grew up..... When you are not busy, why not exchange some friendly banter with him. You probably can't begin to know how painful it is to be him.
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